Intention is a term used to describe a person’s purpose or desire to achieve a certain outcome. The concept of intention implies an orientation or aim with a deliberate activity and willingness directed toward an end result.
Intention is always future oriented, but the intent exists in the present, whether conscious or subconscious. You could intend something routine, such as to purchase groceries (easily accomplished), or you could intend to get in better shape or get a new job (possibly less certain).
Taking actions toward some goal requires planning and execution, even when the activity is routine or habitual. You don’t have to think much about brushing your teeth, using the bathroom, or driving to work; these activities come automatically. If, however, you need to use a bathroom in a public place, you may need more intention to find one on time. When driving to a less familiar place and trying to arrive punctually, you need more conscious intention.
Although it’s usually associated with heightened focus and motivation, intention is also a background factor that contributes to goal attainment. If you have mixed feelings or doubts about something, such ambivalence or hesitation can dampen your intention. While uncertainty or caution may be prudent, they may modify the strength of intention. You may consider doing or acquiring something, but still be unsure if it’s the right goal to pursue. Double-mindedness can slow you down.
Alternatively, you can have great intention to achieve some outcome, yet falter, become distracted or obstructed, or simply not have the means to achieve the goal. Many things can thwart you besides intention. You may not have the resources necessary for a desired outcome. Or, you may be well on your way to achieving a goal when some misfortune or unforeseen event sidelines your aim.
People have different motivations, needs, and perceptions. Thus, you may offend or hurt someone without meaning to do so. It could be the result of carelessness on your part; or, it could be that the receiving party takes the message differently from the way you meant or intended it. Sensitivity can be very subjective. In such cases, intention veers from outcome.
Generally, to achieve desired outcomes in much of our activity, it’s useful to have heightened intention that’s focused and clarified. To intensify your intention, you may:
Since achieving goals takes work and often sacrifice, you can strengthen motivation by reminding yourself of the desired outcome. By reviewing and highlighting the value and purpose of your intent, you will reinforce it and keep it active. This holds true not only for what will benefit you, but also for your intention to help, assist, or care for others. Sharpening your intention toward compassion and consideration will guide you in conscious and subconscious actions and attitudes toward others.
Most things worth doing require attention and perseverance. You need less intention for things that are habitual or automatic. For newer goals or those that are less common, you’ll need to control your attention and keep track of where you are in taking the steps needed to achieve it.
Life constantly throws distractions at us. It’s just the nature of being busy and having to deal with less expected events, needs and issues. Don’t seek distractions, but do expect them. Ask yourself consistently: Is this thing requiring my attention really important—or does it just seem “urgent” at the moment? You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how many things you can defer or screen out and how much focus and control you can have over your mind, your activities, and your intention.
It’s always important and useful to keep your eye on the desired end result. This develops focus, accentuates desire and hunger, and gives you strength and sustenance when the going gets tough or fatigue and obstacles arise. The more you keep the “prize” in sight, the easier and more direct your course will be.
In many “new age” paradigms, it has become fashionable to attribute negative outcomes or failures to underlying or subconscious intentions that sabotage expressed desires, good health, or productive living. Sadly, such vague and mysterious thinking has been used to “explain” why someone got cancer, had an accident, or experienced trauma or unpleasant events.
Though self-sabotage (psychological reversal) and self-defeating behaviors and attitudes surely exist, it is unscientific and harmful to influence others (in the name of “helping”) by invoking supposed misdirected intention on the basis of bad outcomes. Nobody wants to become ill, have accidents, or despoil their own success or pleasure.
Yes, there are subconscious attitudes, prior conditioning, and behavior patterns that throw people off track or steer them away from what they want. But, be skeptical of fancy theories, psychodynamic explanations, or other intuitive speculations that infer true intention on the basis of negative results. Well-intentioned friends, family, and even professionals can erroneously deduce hidden sabotaging intention on the basis of poor outcomes. Don’t fall for it. Intention is a critical component in organizing, focusing, directing, and sustaining efforts to achieve goals. But there are many things that can get in the way.
Oftentimes, our best intentions are thwarted by circumstances beyond our control. While “taking charge” (especially of your own behaviors and attitudes) is responsible where possible, we must also be realistic about what we can’t control.
Lofty ambitions and positive goals should be tempered by the realities of our abilities, resources, other needs and responsibilities, and by the time and energy available.
You may have the best intentions of improving yourself, your finances or health, or of overcoming a significant setback. Notwithstanding your desire and commitment, some goals are elusive. Your best efforts may not be sufficient. Even when you give it your all, the result may be disappointing. Though attaining the goal is what you want, failure and discouragement are pathways to humility and renewed hope.
When your intent does not materialize despite your best efforts, re-evaluate the situation. Were you sidetracked by lack of perseverance? Insufficient resources? Doubts or ambivalences? Indecisiveness can be a liability when it becomes chronic—but having caution and ambivalence about investing yourself can also arise from intuitive wisdom that protects you.
Much of what life requires comes in the way of adjusted expectations. Aiming too low is self-protective, but can be a defense or excuse. Unbridled ambition can accompany unrealistic expectations or fantasy.
There’s an old saying: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. We need to accommodate and balance both.
Discovering and focusing on intention is a great way to express sincerity, clarify communications and actions, and enhance the integrity of relationships.
People are frequently unaware of the full impact of their words and behaviors upon others. This relates to my previous statement noting that your audience may take your message differently from the way you meant or intended it. And, that may be the case for you, too, when you feel slighted or wounded by someone’s words.
Here’s something I practice to defuse tension, hostility, or offense when I feel someone is slighting or attacking me:
I say, “Joe, I need your help in understanding what you intended by that statement.” (I repeat the statement, so he can hear what it sounded like). “Perhaps I’m misinterpreting or taking it the wrong way or overreacting, but that statement hurt my feelings and I felt demeaned. Was it your intent to hurt or demean me?”
Now, Joe may indeed be angry with me or feel I offended him. He may well have intended to criticize or cut me down. More likely, however, is the case where he was acting out of hurt and defensiveness. By my questioning his intent in a polite and carefully indirect request for clarification, Joe gets to listen to the way he came across, how it affected me, and—importantly—clarify, apologize, or explore the issue that gave rise to the hurt and disrespect.
This is a very useful approach and communication tool. It gives me a chance to not overreact, but rather to appeal to the person’s better sensibilities. It gives him a chance to cool down, recognize what he did, and to offer a less harsh and more conciliatory expression.
Try this—it will work for you, also, to gently question intent.
Changing what you can, accepting what you cannot change, and wisely discerning the difference is a well-worn maxim. There is power and satisfaction in pushing yourself while respecting your limits (and those of others).
Regarding intention, the effort is to call upon your internal power and determination, discard negatives and distractions, laud yourself for persistence and accomplishments, and accept that not all things are possible through one’s own muster.
Intention propels and guides you. It is a wellspring of sustenance and strength that deserves cultivation. Yet, all is not up to you.
One of the great frustrations is when you really intend to help someone, to be kind, compassionate, dispel conflicts, and get along—but, the other person cannot or will not cooperate or accede to your benevolent overtures. Though your intent may be strong and true, the outcome may depend upon someone else.
What to do in these cases? Endure the frustration, extend understanding and compassion as best you can, and turn your intention toward preserving your dignity, altruism, determination, and knowledge that carefully honed intention will be your ally going forward.
— Mark Steinberg, PhD
